How the start of the new school year brings the opportunity to do this busy season differently – all with more flow.
My kids are finally in school. It couldn’t have come at a better time, as idle time makes my children fight (anyone else?). Yet, there’s a bittersweetness to this school year beginning, for I already miss the freedom of our days, the lack of morning rush and absence of lunch-making.
Normally, back-to-school season includes one or two weeks of being in flux as schedules emerge and parents’ nights happen. Then, timings and activities are clear and everyone gets settled into routines. If I’m honest, I always find this time of year stressful and difficult. Activated, that part of me that clings tightly to sameness, control and stability. I want to get settled into the new routine – yesterday.
This year, new chaos has piggybacked into this year’s back-to-school routine with my kids in three different schools. Their schedules have very little overlap now, from school start times to even vacations. Planning and scheduling more than a few days out is difficult and there are few time-efficient or optimal way of doing things. These days, I’m always in the car… waiting in the car. racing to get into the car – or to out of it. A few days into their school year and I am seeing that this messy, chaotic lifestyle may become our steady new normal.
So, how can a routine-loving person like myself be at peace when there’s predictable instability in the time ahead?
Sometimes the wave is so big, there’s no mastering it. Instead, you have to change how you ride the wave.
Knowing that it will take weeks to figure out a routine, I am stretching myself to have a different internal experience with this flux period. I am choosing to be more in flow with the moment, prioritize ease and well-being, knowing my only task is to focus on today.
Here’s what that means:
Anchor in what I can – while many things are not controllable by me, certain things are: my wake up time, my first meeting start time and other pieces of my day can give me the stability I crave.
Pay attention to my mindset – when I reframe my lack of strategizing too far in advance an experiment, I can more easily let go of control and experiment with the moment.
Notice the boomerang– when you let go of something, space opens up for something new. As I step away from old habits and into new ones, magic occurs. For example, if I stop micromanaging my child to ensure they are on time, would this allow us to have more connected conversations in the car?
Trusting others more – under the weight of hyper-scheduling and controlling tendencies is the erroneous assumption that the complex family system will all fall apart unless it is micromanaged. I have to remind myself that I have capable people in my life, including my own children, and that nothing that serious is going to happen by my stepping back other than a forgotten water bottle or two.
Hyper prioritize my to-do list – Instead of a generic to-do list, I have a “to-do today” list based on a tiered ranking of my priorities. Tier 1 priorities have to get done today, no exceptions. There are usually only 3-4 of these items. Tier 2 tasks need to be done this week and Tier 3 in the next week or so. Here’s an example:
With these tweaks, I’m optimistic I’ll ride the waves of this next chapter with a little more grace – or at least – with a smile or two on my face.
