How playing with an “I can handle it” attitude shifts me from a “let’s get this over with” one to be more in flow with life without changing a thing.
From work events that keep me late on the Stanford campus to new fall activities that require chauffeuring at 9pm, life is…extra…right now. While the long nights and early mornings aren’t new, I’ve noticed that the tape running through my head is adding to the challenge:
I can’t wait for this week to end.
I want to be done with this presentation.
I’ll be happier when the sports season is over.
As I wake up each day, I approach the day as if something to push through. Exhausted at night, I comfort myself by mentally crossing off one more day from the week, as if there is some target date which will provide relief. It is an approach to life that feels incongruent with my life’s philosophy.
It is with this “let’s get it over with” attitude that I was driving to work one day. Sick of my own sulking, I sought distraction in a podcast. I chose this one from Michael Singer, lured by its title and description. While I don’t love Singer’s style and message, I gave the podcast a listen for nuggets that could help. In it, was a message I knew I was meant to hear.
By learning to handle all of life’s experiences without reactive resistance, we can maintain inner peace and return to the source of our being. Michael Singer
Singer discussed how often our approach to discomfort in life is to rearrange or try to change our circumstances so that we can feel better.
Don’t like something? Give feedback. Get them to change. Problem solve. Change locations. Give a consequence. Take action. Even think happy thoughts to override the negative ones.
Implicit in this approach is a sense that things need to be made right or be fixed so that we can be okay. The cars picking up speed on the freeway is the only solution to our frustration about traffic. When the kids fight, we may get them to stop by yelling, intervening or giving a consequence. We interject ourselves until or unless we get outcome that we prefer from life.
In this approach is a subtle undertone of: “I can’t handle this.” We grit our teeth and get angry at the news of a flight cancellation and then bitterly deal with it. Then, when the flight is rebooked and a plan is in place, we feel better. We feel we can handle life again now that the situation is resolved.
In his podcast, Singer suggested a subtle shift in these moments. When encountering traffic, a flight cancellation or a long week, approach them all with an “I can handle it” approach.
When we focus on our innate skill of getting through life with confidence and conviction, we unburden ourselves from trying to control the world. Or being at odds with it. When we let life happen as is, focusing on our ability to handle it, inner stability and peace can be more easily found.
What if you woke up and in your daily affirmations said: “Whatever comes my way, I will be able to handle it all.” Because, isn’t that the truth? We ALWAYS end up navigating through whatever life offers.
Life feels complicated only because we become entangled in our thoughts, emotions, and external experiences. As such, we do not have to become overly identified with these fleeting experiences. Michael Singer
This thought mantra has been a gift to me. When I feel inner resistance about an upcoming presentation, a 5am alarm or even writing this post, I simply shift my thoughts to “I can handle this” and the inner fight I have with the moment melts. A feeling of confidence and peace with the present circumstance overtakes me. There are fewer things that need my involvement and effort. I am letting life be and speaking the truth. That allows me to be more in harmony with the world, myself and my alarm clock.
