I was proud of my kids for not complaining about this. It was super early on Sunday morning, a perfect time for us all to sleep in. Yet, miraculously, we managed to find a few hours that weren’t occupied by sports, tutoring or some other activity to once again cook breakfast at a local women’s shelter. The work was not extraordinary: cracking eggs, frying sausage and handing them out to residents. As we drove home, we debriefed about the experience. Pouring into others, poured into ourselves.
In my career coaching work, I often give the advice to my clients to participate in work like this – or more skilled volunteer work, should that be available. Volunteering feels good to all of us. However, when we are feeling lost, without purpose or confused in a job search, we need a place where we can feel like we can be a contributor. Volunteer efforts can help boost our confidence and identity.
I was not in this particular circumstance but the rewarding feeling I had in the hours after the breakfast grew into a question:
How can I do more of that? Giving to something.
Giving through with what we do
Practicalities followed though. When? How?
That’s the thought that followed me into the next few days. Not I should volunteer more. Instead, it was a silent, honest tugging that I wanted more of my life to feel like I was giving to others, just as we did that Sunday. I want more of my days to be about something bigger than my own to-do list.
Between the job, the kids’ schedules, the house, the inbox that never ends, dedicating three hours a week to another project isn’t possible. My calendar is stacked already like a Jenga tower. But, I can’t keep using the “excuse” of being busy for not transforming my life, even a little.
Is service something you add to a full life, or something you can weave through one? Both are necessary. I won’t step back from volunteer efforts, but I also want to do more.
If I’m honest, most of my daily moments right now are centered on me: my goals, my image, my output, my recognition. Not in a villainous way. In the ordinary, invisible way most of our lives are centered on ourselves, because that’s the default setting. I particularly feel this about my TV work.
I show up for my kids, my clients, my team and others, sure. But I always get something in return for these efforts: a paycheck, a sense of duty fulfilled, recognition or a clean house.
Ironically, the next week’s Sunday satsang (spiritual lecture) I attended was precisely about this concept: seva.
Attitude can transform daily acts
Seva is the Sanskrit word for selfless service. It is used interchangeably with volunteer efforts, but the lecture revealed that it is more subtle than that: it’s a service mindset or orientation. In Vedantic philosophy, it’s the way to spiritualize your life. When doing everyday tasks: have a service or devotional mindset. We may go to church for 2 hours in a week, that’s great. But what if we can do something more with our 40 hours or work and family duties. Our attitude can spiritualize more of our lives.
The Gita gives the prescription for doing this. The teachings remind us that not acting is not possible. We all have daily duties and not everyone’s work can be human-centric like in healthcare or NGO work. The world needs accountants and TV anchors. Often we have the assumption in our efforts, however, that I am the doer or creator and desire certain results for this doing. We think that our prowess and hard efforts are entirely ours and for that, we should get something – like a promotion, a title or approval.
Mentality matters
To transform this “me” oriented mindset, the lecturer shared that Vedantic philosophy says to remember that all you are is due to the Higher Power, Universe, God…call it what you want. And because of this gift, you are given the work – whether it is doing the dishes or landing the account. To transform your work, give the efforts back to the deliverer and keep an attitude in line with that.
We don’t serve at a soup kitchen with a scowl but with smile, right? Why not our kids’ dinner making, too, or entering data on the spreadsheet? The expertise, the opportunity, present moment are all gifts. When you keep that in mind, that is a spiritual act.
Drop the need for your results
Additionally, when you act, do so with your full effort and don’t do it for a specific outcome of your choosing. Rewards, recognition, promotions, money all come as a result of our actions. But our actions don’t have to be for those outcome, but a byproduct or another blessing the higher Giver. We never tell someone who is getting us a birthday gift what to give us, we accept openly what they desire to give us.
The same is true of our efforts. Be open to serendipity, gains or not should matter not.
Above all else, gratitude
The path to living out this ego-less, gain-less attitude is a lifelong shift. And while worthwhile, there is also one simple, powerful and effective way to infuse meaning into anything you do today: give thanks. Gratitude is a simple and profound way to transform anything mundane into a devotional act.
“Thank you for this food.”
“I am grateful I have children to cook for, living in this house at the moment, for that won’t always be the case. Let this meal nourish them.”
“Thank you for getting me home safely.”
Appreciating the everyday creates grooves in the brain and subconscious, transforming our thinking and perspective.
While volunteerism and giving back to community is still top of mind for me and my family, I like knowing there are micro-shifts I can make everyday to feel that ordinary and extraordinary things I do can expand beyond me and mine.
