After some time away, Shibani reflects on keeping the vacation vibe alive and what we are allowed to be on holiday.
This year has been one of unexpected adventure. I welcomed the new year in Mexico City and found myself at the halfway point of this year in new Asian cities with a few more adventures planned. Traveling is how I want to invest my time and money this year, I decided, and it’s been a splendid choice. My travel escapes this year, only some of which have been with family, have been some of the most fun I’ve had in years.
The pros of vacation are self-evident. And, for me, the return home can feel dreadful. Returning from vacation can be a rough adjustment, diving right back into work, kid routines and emails overnight. It’s no wonder why I treasure my vacation days, as they can feel like the only way to retreat from daily life with blues hitting when wheels touch down. It’s a fleeting escape from reality.
On my most recent flight home, I journaled and reflected on the aliveness and freedom I felt while in Asia – in sharp contrast to the dread and resistance I was feeling returning to normal life.
What am I resisting? I asked myself.
It wasn’t the destination that I was sad to leave. Frankly, I was partly excited to return to my bed and parts of my routine that I missed. But it was the version of myself I embodied those days that I didn’t want to leave behind. I had to say goodbye to her. That is what I was resisting.
What does vacation do for you? For me, going away invites so much internal rule breaking – from routines, rigidity, shoulds and duties…and a more pronounced tune-in to my desires and wants. I don’t do this as often in my daily life, so vacation feels that much more special. Because I can be free and super fun.
What do I want to eat?
What do we want to do today?
When do I feel like waking?
Why not? Let’s do it!
For me, being away from home and in a new city, country or routine invites tapping into what I desire and want all. day. long. Whether 200 or 2k miles away, when I open my suitcase, I can feel like a better, freer version of myself, one who acts from a more alive, fun and present place.
Bringing different parts of myself to life is what vacation is about for me. The days away invigorate me, expanding the edges of who I think I am: like a person who takes a conscious dance class and rides around on a scooter.
So, as my plane descended upon SFO, I found myself clinging to vacation or maybe that vacation version of myself, wondering how to reconcile who I am across the ocean with who I am at home.
Do I have to let that version of me go? How can I keep the vacation vibes alive?
That was the prompt I explored while flying over the Pacific.
In doing so, I came up with a vacation blueprint that articulate the aspects of vacation that bring me life, that, perhaps I could explore carrying over into my everyday life:
- Lightness – lighter agendas, expanded timelines
- Adventure and fun – doing, trying or seeing something new with the intention of having fun
- Spontaneity – space and freedom to explore desires and choose them
- Physical activity – outside time and physical exertion
- Connection – with others and within myself
- Accomplishment – learning a new city, practicing a language or feeling less intimidated by something
When laid out this simplistically, my blueprint reflects back to me that there are parts of my vacation self that could live on inside my everyday self. While it may be impossible to recreate the same lightness I had while roaming the streets of Tokyo on a routine Tuesday morning getting 3 kids to school, there are things I can do to make the everyday me more light.
Can I have a lighter agenda at least one weekday where I could add in something that provides adventure, connection or accomplishment?
Are there more daily moments I can create to enjoy a meal, tune into my needs or be outside with nature, even if for 15 minutes?
The answer to both is: yes.
Back at home and fully into my routine of work, kids and 5am alarms now, one part of my vacation lives on: the morning pause. On vacation, I would wake up, snooze and take my time getting out of bed. I bring a little of this vacation act back home. Now, I pause and linger in bed a few minutes, just as I did on vacation, to reflect on how I want to live out my day as an experience. Where can I bring in lightness, adventurous or tune into my desires today? This simple act is effective in creating breathing room in my perception of the day ahead. It makes me feel like I have some choice in what otherwise be a mundane day.
“What do I want today?”
Simply asking myself this as many times as I can in the day gives me more of that vacation feeling, even without an ocean visible from outside my window. Through that, I revisit that desired feeling of possibility.
The reality is that this inquisition opportunity is available to us at all moments, in any zip code. We don’t have to escape to paradise to give freedom to ourselves. The point is not to turn our everyday lives into vacation, but to live more of our lives exploring the different dimensions of ourselves, of which some we only discover on vacation, and bring home – only to realize she is always with us, no matter the time zone.
